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About London

Alright, mate, listen up – sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I’ve seen the chaos up close. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, pure fuckin anarchy – swipe right, bang, ghost. Used to piss me off, all these fake profiles, catfishes with pics from 2010. Once matched a chick, bio said “adventurous,” thought I hit jackpot. Nah, she just wanted me to buy her fuckin sushi – £50 down the drain! Laughed my arse off later, tho – fair play, she played me good.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Fore Street. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual – a flat white and a bacon sarnie. But guess what? They ran outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s breakfast, people! I was fuming. I mean, who doesn’t love bacon?

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