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About Newcastle

Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” ain’t that posh? Fuckin’ mental, history’s wild. Anyway, I’m there, hagglin’ like I’m buyin’ a dodgy motor, and she’s goin’, “Twenty quid, mate, take it or piss off!” Laughed me arse off – she’s got balls, fair play. Reminds me o’ that line, “This is my place!” – she owned that street corner like Yubaba owns the bathhouse, y’know?

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After that, I wander over to the market on the High Street. It’s buzzing! Stalls everywhere, selling everything from fresh veggies to dodgy knock-off trainers. I’m eyeing this stall with some homemade jams. I love a good jam, especially the raspberry kind. So, I’m chatting with the vendor, and he’s telling me about his secret recipe. I’m all in, right? But then, I see the price. Ten quid for a jar? Nah, mate! I’m not made of money!

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