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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and loud, and I’ve got thots on escorts—yes, escorts! Not the hobbit kind, mind you, but the ones folks pay for company. YOU SHALL NOT PASS judgment til I’m done! Picture this: dark alleys, fancy hotels, secrets whispered like spells. Reminds me of *Tabu*, that flick I adore—y’know, Miguel Gomes’ 2012 gem? “The past is a forbidden land,” it says, and escorts? They carry pasts heavier than my staff!

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After a bit of coaxing, I finally get Whiskers down. The owner is over the moon, and I’m just relieved I didn’t break my neck. But then, as I’m leaving, I trip over a root and nearly faceplant. Classic me, right?

Bengal Brasserie: Hugely popular Leeds Indian chain to open new restaurant near Chapel Allerton and Moortown