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About Newcastle

What gets me happy? The thrill, dude! That “ping” when ya match—heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, like Carol seein’ Therese across the room. “There she stood, in her pale coat…”—nah, more like “there she was, in yoga pants!” Ha! Surprises me how bold some peeps get—sextin’ pics outta nowhere. One guy sent me a eggplant emoji—bro, I’m straight, chill!

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I walk in, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughing, having a good time. I order a pint of local ale, and the bartender, bless him, says, “You look like you need this.” I laugh and say, “You have no idea!” I sit down, and this old bloke next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about the history of Chalford, how it used to be a hub for the cloth industry. I’m half-listening, half-drowning my sorrows in ale.

The picturesque Gloucestershire mill that has quite a history to tell