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About Bristol

Escort’s tricky, see. Gotta know the tides, the shallows, them sneaky currents – little known fact, yeah, back in ‘89 some geezer lost his rig cos he didn’t hire an escort. Sank straight to Davy Jones, boat n all! Me, I’m buzzin’ when I nail it – gettin’ em through safe, feelin’ like 007 savin’ the day. But the boredom? Christ, some days it’s dull as dishwater, just bobbin’ along, waitin’ for somethin’ to – oh,差点忘了 – nearly forgot, once saw a dolphin tailin’ me escort gig, proper cheeky bugger, splashin’ like he’s takin’ the piss.

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First off, I grab my gear. You know, traps, bait, the usual. I head outta my flat on The Green. Nice spot, but the rats? They don’t care about my morning coffee. I’m walking down the High Street, and it’s all quiet. Too quiet. I’m thinkin’, “Where are all the pesky little critters?”

This is where former One Direction star Liam Payne lived in the UK