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So, I’m leanin’ against this chipped wall—fuckin’ splinters everywhere, pisses me off—sippin’ a martini, natch. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sizin’ her up. Did ya know, back in the day, Rome’s hookers had their own guild? True story—called themselves “meretrices,” fancy as fuck. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how they’d strut past the Colosseum, dodgin’ drunk senators. History’s wild, innit?

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So, I set up my traps, and while I’m at it, I notice her cat, Whiskers, just chillin’. I’m thinkin’, “What’s this lazy furball doin’?” I swear, that cat looked at me like I was the intruder. Anyway, I finally catch the rat. It’s not even that big. Just a little fella. But Mrs. Thompson? She’s acting like I just saved her from a bear.

Chalfont: Gym planned at Doctor Who filming location after previous bid refused