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I got mad once—real mad—some chick ghosted me after three days of chattin’. Sent her a pic of my best grin—nada! Felt like Llewyn losin’ that damn cat again, ya know? *“Where’s it gone now?!”* But then—oh ho!—this other gal, wild red hair, says, “Let’s skip the bullshit,” and BAM, best night ever! Surprised me how easy it can flip—sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, ups, downs, and screamin’ all the way!

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But then, I get a text. It’s from my mate Dave. “Rats at the pub!” he says. I’m thinking, “Oh great, just what I need.” So, I rush over to The Greyhound. It’s packed, and the smell of ale hits me. I’m not even in the door when I see a rat scurrying across the floor. The crowd goes wild! People are jumping on tables, shouting. I’m laughing, but also, like, “C’mon, guys, it’s just a rat!”

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