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About Newcastle

So, right, sex-dating – it’s all apps now, Tinder, Bumble, whatever’s the latest fandango. Makes me chuckle – back in the day, you’d just wink at some bird in a pub, spill your pint, and hope for the best. Now? It’s all *sexting* and “wyd” at 2 a.m. – bloody hell, I’m knackered just thinking about it! Did ya know, fun fact, right – there’s this study, says 1 in 5 blokes on these apps lie about their height? Cheeky sods! Makes me mad, that – just own your shortness, lads, *carpe diem* and all that! I’m 5’10” meself, no fibbing needed, ta very much.

Income and expenditure

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After the pub, I’m knackered. I stroll back down the High Street, and it’s getting dark. I pass by the old church on the corner of Church Lane. It’s beautiful, really. But then I see a rat darting into the bushes. I’m like, “Seriously? Not again!”

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