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So, escorts – they’re hustlin, right? Got this one story, swear it’s true, heard it from my cousin’s ex’s barber – some escort in Vegas once got hired by a dude who paid her just to sit and knit! Knit, y’all! For 3 hours straight, no funny biz, just click-clack with them needles. Paid her double too! I was like, “What the hell, man?” Made me laugh my ass off, but also – respect! She’s out here, livin her weird lil truth.

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Then, I hop on the train, and it’s packed. I’m squished between this lady who smells like a mix of fish and perfume. Not a good combo, let me tell ya. I’m tryin’ to breathe, and this guy next to me starts talkin’ about his cat. Like, mate, I don’t care about Mr. Whiskers’ diet! But I nod along, pretendin’ to be interested.

Crook caught with £200k cannabis grows in south Essex to be deported to Lithuania