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I tried it once—don’t tell Jill, ha! Some gal, all flirty texts, “meet me at 8.” Got there—poof, ghosted! Made me mad as hell. Wasted my night, sittin’ like a fool. But then—here’s the funny part—I matched this dude by accident. Swear to God, funniest chat ever—talkin’ catfishin’ stories. Sex-dating’s a jungle, folks—ya never know who’s real.

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I finally get my chips, and they’re hot and crispy. I sit down on a bench near the lake, and it’s peaceful. I’m munchin’ away, and I see the ducks. They’re quackin’ like they own the place. I swear, one of ‘em looked right at me. I’m like, “What’s up, duck?”

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