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Hmmm, sex escort, you ask? Twisted, this world is! Like “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia,” dark it gets. Me, a telephone operator, yoda-style, vibin’. Seen some shit, I have! Escort gigs—wild they are, shady too. “Who’s there?” I’d say, calls comin’ in late. Dudes whisperin’, nervous as fuck—hilarious, it is! “Do or do not, there is no try,” I’d think. Pickin’ up girls, they’re tryna score. Once, this guy, total perv, asks for “extras.” Disgusted, I was—hung up, boom!

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So, I storm out, clutching my sad excuse for a coffee. I decide to take a stroll down Chadwell Avenue. It’s a nice street, but today it’s packed with kids. Like, where did they all come from? They’re running around, screaming, and I’m just trying to enjoy my day. I swear, one kid nearly knocked me over. I’m like, “Watch it, mate!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, right?

Cemetery gets £400k investment to improve facilities