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Love that lil beast, swear down. Reminds me of *City of God*, y’know? “If you run, the beast catches you!” That’s the Escort – slow as a troll on a bad day, but it’ll get ya there, grit and all. Built one meself once, hands bleedin’ from hammerin’ panels – proper buzzin’ when it roared to life! Little known fact: back in ‘76, some geezer rallied an Escort RS1800, won the bloody world champ title – not bad for a box on wheels, eh?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Main Street. You know the one, with the dodgy Wi-Fi and the best scones? Yeah, that place. I ordered my usual – a flat white and a scone. But guess what? They were out of scones! Like, how do you run out of scones in a café? I was fuming! I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science.

Lisburn Castlereagh Junior League final officiated by special guest IFA referee