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Love the sneaky bits, tho – didja know? Victorian times, escorts hid in carriages, secret lil’ meetups. Proper cheeky! Makes me bounce in me seat, imaginin’ me spyin’ – oops, banged me knee! “There’s no reins on this one,” I mutter, like Ennis in me fave flick. Wild, free, bit mad – that’s escort for ya! Gets me chuffed, thinkin’ how it’s all hush-hush, then bam – everyone knows!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already late for my coffee fix at that little café on the corner of Castle Road. You know the one? The one with the weirdly friendly barista who always tries to chat about the weather. Like, mate, it’s England. It’s always grey! Anyway, I dash down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some sort of Olympic event.

Dad jailed for murdering daughter's father-in-law in Castle Vale after she made false claim