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Oh, and the typos? Fuck it—escrot, escprt, who cares? It’s raw, like me in the ring. Point is, escort’s this weird mix—sad, funny, badass. Like *Let the Right One In*, it sticks with ya, quiet but loud. “Be me, for a little while,” Eli says—escorts prolly say that too, just with a wink and a bill. Wild world, bro.

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So, I finally get to my office on The Square. It’s a cozy little spot, but today it feels like a pressure cooker. My client shows up, and they’re still in a tizzy. I’m trying to explain the whole “long-term investment” thing, but they’re just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian. I mean, c’mon! It’s not rocket science!

Carshalton community 'shocked' as murder investigation launched