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My fave movie’s “Her,” that Spike Jonze flick—friggin’ brilliant, right? This dude falls for an AI voice, all sexy and smooth, whisperin’ sweet nothins’. Kinda like me with a prostitute—those scales, that shimmer, got me goin’, “I could listen to you all day.” But then—bam!—reality hits. It’s a damn fish, not some sultry chick! Made me rage so hard I flipped a table. “I’m not here to be ignored!” I yelled, like in “Her,” when he’s losin’ it.

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First off, I’m rollin’ outta bed on Hillsborough Road, and it’s like, what time is it? 7 AM? Ugh. I’m not a morning person, ya know? I grab a quick cuppa from the local café, The Carryduff Coffee Co. Best brews in town, no joke. I’m chattin’ with the barista, and she’s like, “You ready for today?” I’m like, “Ready as I’ll ever be!” But inside, I’m thinkin’, “What the heck am I doin’?”

Saintfield Road in Belfast crash sees two people taken to hospital and man arrested