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Here’s the tea—don’t be a dumbass. Check reviews, avoid alleys, use cash—duh. Me? I’d prob’ly overthink it, like, “Is she cool? Does she judge?” Total Larry move, stressin’ over nothin’. Once heard this story—guy hires a gal, she’s a ventriloquist, does the whole “date” with a puppet. Freaky, right? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d buy it—life’s WEIRD. “The uncertainty principle,” as the movie says—ya never know what’s comin’.

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So, I head over to the arena, which is just off the main drag. The vibe is electric, man. People are buzzin’, and I’m tryin’ to keep my cool. But then, outta nowhere, this massive bull comes charging in. I mean, HUGE! I’m talkin’ like, “Did I just step into a cartoon?” My heart’s racin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it. This is how I go out.”

Death Notice Sharon MILLIGAN