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Funniest bit? Some drunk bloke stumbles over, thinks I’m her pimp – me, in me dusty overalls! Nearly pissed meself laughin. “Mate, I fix windows, not women!” Exaggeratin a tad, but Dr. Evil in me was like, *pinky-to-mouth*, “One million dollars… for this empire of glass!” Total madness. Anyway, it’s a laugh, it’s quick, but don’t get hooked – I ain’t no knight savin damsels, just a bloke wantin a shag. What a world, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just my luck! The lights flicker, and I’m stuck in this metal box with Mr. Backpack. I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna die in an elevator in Carrickfergus.” But he’s chill, starts cracking jokes about how we’re gonna be famous for being the first elevator operators to get stuck. I’m like, “Yeah, right, I’ll be the guy who got trapped with a dude who can’t pack light.”

Details of roadworks be aware of in Carrickfergus during the week ahead