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So, sex escort—bit of a giggle, bit of a shocker. Reckon it’s like, “Oi, fancy a quick consultancy sesh?” but with less PowerPoint, more knickers off, haha! Little fact for ya—did ya know, back in Victorian times, escorts were called “soiled doves”? Proper posh slang, that! Makes me chuckle, picturin’ ‘em in frilly hats, dodgin’ coppers. Gets me all nostalgic, like, “Where’s me top hat, eh?”

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an elevator operator in Carrickfergus is like riding a rollercoaster, but without the safety harness. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a typical Tuesday, or so I thought. The sun’s shining, the seagulls are squawking like they own the place, and I’m just tryin’ to get my head in the game.

Carrickfergus Planet Fun operator fined for 'health and safety failings' after ride collapse