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Lemme hit ya with some real talk. Sex-dating ain’t just hookups, nah. Some stats say 20% find love! Crazy, right? Thought it was all bangin’. Nope! People gettin’ married off this shit. Met a dude once, swore he smashed 50 chicks. Turns out, he’s lyin’ – classic Belfort move. “You show me a paystub, I’ll quit!” Exaggeratin’ for clout, pathetic. Made me mad, man, fuckin’ posers everywhere.

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First off, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the sun’s blarin’ through my window on Kinloch Street. I’m thinkin’, “Great, another day in paradise.” But nah, it’s not that simple. I grab my gear, head out, and boom! Right outside my door, I see this seagull. Not just any seagull, but a massive one. Like, this thing could’ve taken my lunch money. It’s squawkin’ like it owns the place. I’m like, “Chill, dude, I’m just tryin’ to live my life.”

The Senior Open Championship at Carnoustie: How to watch, storylines, qualifiers and more