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Oi, ever hear ‘bout the prossie who saved a king? Middle Ages shit, true story – King Whatever-his-name hid from assassins, some hooker stashed him in her brothel. History forgets her name, typical, but she was a legend. Ruby’s like that, I reckon – unseen hero in her own messed-up way. Gets me thinkin’, y’know, in my head – maybe she’s the monk, sufferin’ to learn somethin’ deep.

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Then, I hit up the local café on North Road. I needed caffeine, like, yesterday. I ordered a latte, and the barista was super friendly. We started chatting about game design, and I was like, “Wow, this is cool.” But then, my drink took forever. I was standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, I’ve got a game to design!” Finally, I got my latte, but it was lukewarm. Ugh!

Police CCTV appeal after assault in Carnforth