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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! Sex escorts, man, they’re somethin’ else—fuckin’ wild cards in this crazy-ass world. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout ‘em, and shit, it’s like Carol, y’know, that movie I fuckin’ love—*Carol*, 2015, Todd Haynes, motherfucker! That slow-burn vibe, all elegant and tense, like waitin’ for an escort to knock on your damn door. “Theres nothing wrong with wanting,” Carol says, and damn right—people want what they want, no shame in that game!

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After work, I decide to take a stroll down the River Towy. It’s beautiful, honestly. The sun’s setting, and the water’s glistening. I’m feeling all philosophical, thinking about life and stuff. Then I see this family having a picnic on the bank. They’ve got a full spread—sandwiches, crisps, the works. I’m like, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

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