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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, erotic-massage, yeah? Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands gliding like I dodge bullets. It’s all about the vibe, right? Tension building, like in *The Return*—you know, my fave flick—where the dad says, “You’re not ready yet.” Same deal here, mate, it’s slow, deliberate, teasing ya ‘til you’re bloody begging for it.

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From the serenity of a relaxing massage to the spiritual reconnection of tantric massage, each technique has its own particular origin, purpose and benefit. Below, we will explore the top 10 .

At the market, I bump into old Mrs. Jenkins. She’s got her usual basket, filled to the brim with veggies. “Oi, you! You still makin’ them barrels?” she yells. I’m like, “Yeah, Mrs. J! You know it!” She starts rambling about how her grandson needs a barrel for his homebrew. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need—more work!” But I can’t say no to her. She’s like a grandma to me.

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