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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout sex-dating, Hannibal Lecter style – “I ate his liver with fava beans.” Ya know, choppin’ wood as The Lumberjack, I see shit clear. Sex-dating’s wild, like steppin into that freaky spirit world from *Spirited Away*. “No-Face chasin’ ya with gold,” but it’s horny randos swipin’ right instead.

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But then, as I’m leaving, I trip over a loose cobblestone. Classic me, right? I almost faceplant, but I catch myself. I look around, hoping no one saw. Of course, a couple of old ladies are giggling. I just wave it off like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”

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