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But—ooh—some parlors? Dodgy as hell! Had me ragin’ once, this lass promised “release,” then bam—coppers raided, lights flashin’, me half-naked, laughin’ like a loon. “What’s left behind, I take,” Varda’d say—well, I took a tale to tell! Ain’t all shady tho—proper ones, legit, melt thee like butter on a hot scone. Little fact: Japan’s got *anma*, blind masseurs only, swear it’s true, keeps it pure, no funny biz.

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Later, I decide to check out the Canvey Island Wildlife Park. I’m all about the animals, right? I’m wandering around, and I see this peacock strutting its stuff. It’s like, “Look at me, I’m fabulous!” I’m cracking up. But then, I see a family with kids, and they’re all screaming because a goat just jumped on a picnic table. Total chaos! Kids crying, parents laughing. Classic Canvey moment.

The Essex town thousands of Orthodox Jews now call home because its 'so welcoming'