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Lemme spill it—escorts got history, bro. Back in old Rome, rich cats had “companions,” same gig, different togas. Ain’t no one talkin’ that, tho! Mr. T digs the hustle—girl I knew, “Candy,” worked Vegas, banked 2 grand a night. Said, “I’m no victim, fool, I run this!” Made me laugh, yo, ‘cause she owned it. Pity the fool who thinks they’re all desperate—some are, sure, but others? Boss moves.

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Later, I decide to check out the Canvey Island Wildlife Park. I’m all about the animals, right? I’m wandering around, and I see this peacock strutting its stuff. It’s like, “Look at me, I’m fabulous!” I’m cracking up. But then, I see a family with kids, and they’re all screaming because a goat just jumped on a picnic table. Total chaos! Kids crying, parents laughing. Classic Canvey moment.

Non-league sides ready for final day of the regulation season