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Oh, and the oils—smellin’ like pineapple heaven! Slippery, sloppy, so fun! I’d exaggerate, say it’s like divin’ into a sea o’ jelly! “To glean is to live,” Varda says—I’m livin’ it, massagin’ it! You gotta try, buddy—makes ya feel like a starfish king! I’m ready, I’m ready—let’s massage the world! Argh!

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So, I’m strolling down Camden Market, right? The vibe is electric. Street performers everywhere, like, “Look at me! I’m a genius!” One dude was juggling flaming torches. I’m standing there, half impressed, half terrified. Like, bro, one slip and you’re toast. But he pulls it off, and the crowd goes wild. I’m clapping, feeling all the feels.

Orient Women to host Camden Town in E10 on March 23rd