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So, erotic-massage—man, it’s old, like ancient Egypt old! Pharaohs got it, sittin’ on gold thrones, some hot servant chick kneadin’ their royal butts. True story, I swear! Bet they were like, “This is my limbo, my dream within a dream!”—straight outta *Inception*, right? I tried it once, got so relaxed I drooled—gross, but awesome! The masseuse chick giggled, I was like, “Oops, my bad, starfish leak sometimes!”

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So, I’m strolling down Camden Market, right? The vibe is electric. Street performers everywhere, like, “Look at me! I’m a genius!” One dude was juggling flaming torches. I’m standing there, half impressed, half terrified. Like, bro, one slip and you’re toast. But he pulls it off, and the crowd goes wild. I’m clapping, feeling all the feels.

Activists condemn Camden Council for ‘dither and delay’ on pension fund divestment