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Alright, pal, listen up! I’m Gordon Gekko – “Greed is good.” – and I’m dishin’ the dirt on escort, ya hear? Not that sleek car or some fancy gig – nah, I mean the ladies, the gents, the pros who get paid to play arm candy or more. Been thinkin’ bout this since I rewatched *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives* – damn, that flick’s weird as hell! Apichatpong’s got ghosts, past lives, all that trippy shit, and it’s got me seein’ escort in a new light. Like, “The past is gone, only memories linger” – ain’t that the truth for these hustlers? They’re livin’ night by night, cash in hand, no lookin’ back.

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Then, I headed over to the Market Square. You know, the one with all the stalls? I was hoping to grab a bacon sarnie. But guess what? They were out! I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, who runs out of bacon in Cambridge? It’s practically a crime!

‘Herald of the summer’: Pimm’s punt owner on capsizing and cocktails