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About Bristol

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here babysittin’ ya, talkin’ bout somethin’ wild: escort! Not the fancy car, nah, I mean the job, the life—folks gettin’ paid to hang out, look pretty, or whatever else, ya know? Makes me think of *Far From Heaven*—my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002—where Cathy, bless her heart, says, “I’m just a girl from Hartford!” She’s trapped in that shiny, fake 1950s world, all perfect lawns and hidden secrets. Escorts? Kinda the same vibe—shiny on the outside, messy underneath!

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So, yeah, today was a whirlwind. From bacon sarnies to duck-chasing kids, it was a lot. Cambridge, you’ve got my heart, even on the tough days. I guess that’s life, right? Full of ups and downs, but always worth it.

Lost manuscript of Merlin and King Arthur legend read for the first time after centuries hidden inside another book