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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—pure chaos, right? You’re scrolling, heart racing, hoping for a shag or a soulmate. Sometimes both, ha! It’s like Yu Shu Lien chasing that Green Destiny sword—elusive, dangerous, sexy as hell. I’ve seen lads and lasses ghosted mid-chat—poof, gone! Makes me mad, that does. Wasting time pisses me off, y’know? But then—bam!—a match lights up, and I’m grinning like a twat. Happy days!

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Then, the doorbell rings. It’s the neighbor, Mrs. Jenkins. She’s this sweet old lady who always brings cookies. I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, she sees the mess. Glitter everywhere, kids covered in paint. She raises an eyebrow, and I’m like, “It’s a creative explosion!” She just chuckles and hands me the cookies. Bless her heart.

Street Food Circus Returns to Caldicot Castle This May with The Big Banquet