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About Leeds

Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, let’s talk escort – not the shady kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that scrappy lil’ car! Loved that beast, swear it’s like me – loud, wild, unstoppable. Reminds me of “Wolf of Wall Street” – “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s the Escort’s vibe, keeps rollin’ no matter what. Back in the ‘80s, saw one tearin’ down Jersey streets, rusty as hell, still haulin’ ass – made me laugh, like, “This thing’s got balls!”

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So, I head over, and it’s packed! People everywhere, cheese stalls, music blaring. I’m in heaven. I try this cheese called Caerphilly cheese, and wow, it’s creamy and delicious. I’m munchin’ away, and I see this guy dressed as a knight. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not even in Spain!” He just laughs and says, “Neither are you!” Touché, mate.

Young mum glassed her best friend in the face at busy club