Lauren Caernarfon Sexual Massage ❤️❤️

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I got into it once, right? This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “Goddamn, this feels good!” But then—BOOM—my back pops loud as fuck. She jumps, I laugh, she’s all, “You okay, motherfucker?” I’m dyin’, man, it’s hilarious. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks, they was all about sexual-massage. Called it some fancy shit—*anatripsis*. Rubbin’ dudes down after wrestlin’, gettin’ freaky with it. History’s wild, yo.

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, classic Wales, right? One minute, sunshine; the next, it’s like the sky’s crying. I ducked into a café on Market Street. Got myself a hot chocolate, and it was heavenly. I was just chilling, scrolling through my phone, when I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I was like, “Dude, keep it down! I’m trying to enjoy my cocoa!”

Caernarfon man assaulted three people in ‘violent, appalling’ pub brawl