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Yo, motherfucker, lemme tell ya bout escort! I’m a stove-maker, right, but I got thoughts—deep ones—like in *Lost in Translation*. That flick, man, it’s quiet but loud as fuck in my soul. “I just feel so alone,” Charlotte says, and escort? Shit, it’s like that—alone but surrounded. Ain’t that a trip? Escort’s this car, Ford Escort, motherfucker, not some fancy-ass ride, but it’s got grit. Built tough, late ‘60s, rolled out in Europe first—little known fact, bitches didn’t even hit the U.S. ‘til later. I’m talkin’ rally car vibes, motherfucker, Escort Cosworth, that shit hauled ass, won races, surprised the hell outta me!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Not just a drizzle, but full-on torrential downpour. I’m sprintin’ back to my car, dodgin’ puddles like I’m in some kinda obstacle course. I get soaked, of course. Just my luck, right?

Four-bedroom house overlooking River Usk goes on market