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Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

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But then, as I’m sippin’ my coffee, I hear this commotion outside. Turns out, there’s a street performer doin’ some wild tricks. He’s juggling fire! I’m like, “What the heck? Is this a circus or what?” People are gatherin’, laughin’, and I’m just there, thinkin’ how I’d probably set my eyebrows on fire if I tried that.

'It's a family,' pre-school at heart of community for decades at risk of closure