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What pisses me off? The ghostin’. You’re chattin’, thinkin’ “yeah, she’s keen,” then bam—gone, like a patient skippin’ their root canal. Makes me wanna smash somethin’, scream, “I drink your milkshake!”—‘cos they’ve slurped up my time and left me dry. But when it works? Oh, mate, it’s a rush—meet some fit lass, no strings, just bangin’. Happened once, right, this bird was a dental nurse—ironic, yeah? Knew her way round a drill *and* a bedroom. Left me buzzin’, proper chuffed.

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I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, I need my caffeine fix!” Finally, I settle for a tea. I mean, it’s Buxton, right? Famous for its mineral water and all that jazz. But still, I wanted my coffee!

The Peak Buildings which used to house the Buxton Museum and Art Gallery has sold at auction for £435,000