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Lemme paint you a pic—imagine this chick I knew, let’s call her Jodie. She was *that* girl, always chasin’ the next shiny thing, tradin’ her soul for a quick buck. Made me so mad, y’all! I’d be like, “Jodie, why you whorin’ out your dreams for some loser’s dime?” She’d just laugh, flip her hair, and say she’s “livin’ her truth.” Girl, no! You’re livin’ a lie wrapped in cheap mascara! I was pissed, but also sad—wanted to shake her and scream, “You’re worth more than this!” Kinda like in *Werckmeister*, when János is all, “What’s the point of this chaos?”—I felt that, hardcore.

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Then, I dive into the audit. Ugh, numbers everywhere. I’m tryin’ to focus, but my mind’s wanderin’. Like, why do they call it “Bury” anyway? It’s not like we’re diggin’ graves here. Or maybe we are, with all these boring spreadsheets. Haha, get it?

Tom Youngs: Former Cambridge, Northampton and Bury forward dies, aged 45