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Heya doll, it’s me, Marilyn – breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President!” – spillin’ the tea on sex escorts! So I’m a machine milkin’ operator, right? Total gig, yankin’ them udders all day, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ juicier – escorts, baby! I’m talkin’ high-class gals, sassy vibes, struttin’ like they own the joint. Reminds me of *Children of Men* – “You’re a fascist pig!” – that gritty world where hope’s dyin’, but these chicks? They’re livin’, cashin’ in on desire!

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After that, I decide to hit up the pier. You know, the one with all the arcades and fish and chips? I’m craving some chips, so I grab a portion. And let me tell you, they were soggy. Like, who serves soggy chips? I’m standing there, trying to enjoy my meal, but it’s just not happening. I’m getting angrier by the minute.

Burnham-On-Sea bakery shop to be re-opened by long-running Highbridge bakery firm