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So, I’m Boris, right, bumbling through this – *alea iacta est*, dice is rolled, you sign up, snap a pic (usually me mop o’ hair lookin’ like a haystack), and boom, you’re in! Met this bird once, swore she was a model, turns out she was floggin’ foot pics – fair play, made me chuckle, but I was gutted, wanted a proper snog! Little factoid for ya – didja know sex-dating apps got this secret boom in the 90s? Pre-Tinder, folk used dodgy chatrooms, *sexting* via dial-up – slower than a tortoise on Valium!

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What is dating like in Burnage? With hundreds of classy restaurants for cozy date nights, and loads of entertainment venues for an exciting evening together with Burnage singles, this .

Finally, I got my food and plopped down on a bench outside. The fish was crispy, the chips were golden. I took a bite, and it was heavenly. I was finally happy! But then, I noticed a seagull eyeing my lunch. I swear, those birds are like ninjas. Before I knew it, it swooped down and snatched a chip right outta my hand! I was like, “Oi! That’s mine!” But the bird didn’t care. It just flew off, leaving me in shock.

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