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It’s intimate, ya know? Not just physical—gets in your head, all steamy and weird. Some say it’s therapy, others say it’s sin—ha! I say it’s whatever you want, long as you ain’t hurtin nobody. Funniest thing? Old Victorian docs used it—called it “pelvic massage” for “hysteria.” Can you believe that crap? Dudes in top hats tryna play it cool—hilarious! I’m laughin my ass off picturin it.

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Then, I get a text from my mate, asking if I wanna join him at the pub later. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But then I remember, I’ve got a session with a student at the library on Park Road. So, I rush over, and I’m late. Of course. My student, Jamie, is waiting, looking all annoyed. I’m like, “Sorry, mate! Burley traffic!” He rolls his eyes. Classic teenager.

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