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So, I’m watchin’ “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”—y’know, my fave, Spielberg’s a madman—and there’s Gigolo Joe, that smooth robot bastard, struttin’ around, “What do you want, baby?” I’m sittin’ there, screamin’ at the TV, “Sexual-massage, Joe, that’s the ticket!” Imagine it—robots doin’ this gig, no tired hands, no awkward small talk. “Are you fully functional?”—hell yeah, they’d be! I’d invest in that startup yesterday. Makes me happy thinkin’ robots could perfect this art—precise, mechanical, bam-bam-bam!

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Then, I get a text from my mate, asking if I wanna join him at the pub later. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But then I remember, I’ve got a session with a student at the library on Park Road. So, I rush over, and I’m late. Of course. My student, Jamie, is waiting, looking all annoyed. I’m like, “Sorry, mate! Burley traffic!” He rolls his eyes. Classic teenager.

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