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Argh! I’m ready! Sex-dating, mateys! Me fave topic! Picture this—me, SpongeBob, divin’ into the wild world o’ hookups, like in “Far From Heaven”—all that sneaky passion, arrgh! I’m talkin’ quick flings, no strings, just pure jellyfishin’ fun! Ever tried it, Patrick? It’s like—whoosh!—swipin’ left, right, up, down, chasin’ tail like Squidward chasin’ peace!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid in the back starts shouting. “I can’t see the art!” I’m like, “Well, neither can the artist, mate!” Everyone laughs, and I’m just sitting there, trying not to snort my coffee.

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