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Dahling, listen up! I’m Edna Mode—no capes! So, sexual-massage, right? It’s this wild vibe, total sensory explosion! Hands sliding, oils dripping, tension melting—fab-u-lous! I’m obsessed, like, it’s art, pure art. Reminds me of *Spring Breakers*—that chaotic energy, y’know? “Spring break foreva, bitches!”—that’s the mood. Bodies all loose, free, no rules. No capes, no stiff crap, just flow.

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So, I’m walking, and I see this sign for a new shop opening on Station Road. It’s a thrift store. I love a good bargain, right? I pop in, and it’s packed with junk. I mean, who needs a 90s windbreaker? But then, I find this old vinyl record. It’s some obscure band from the 70s. I’m like, “Score!” But then, the cashier? She’s like, “That’ll be £20.” I’m like, “What? For a dusty old record?” I was fuming.

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