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About Bristol

Sailed into Tinder once—Jesus wept. Profiles scream “DTF,” but half’s married, other half’s bots. “This is gonna be so much fun,” they text, then ghost ya. Happened to me—met this lass, fiery redhead, said she’s “open-minded.” Two drinks in, she’s cryin’ about her ex. Spare me. Everybody lies, even me—told her I’m “a captain.” Ha! Barely steer a dinghy.

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After that, I decide to grab some lunch at The Fisherman’s Return. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I order, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this old bloke at the next table. He’s going on about the price of fish. I mean, come on, mate! I’m an economist, not a fishmonger! But I can’t help but listen. He’s ranting about how prices are rising, and I’m like, “Dude, tell me something I don’t know!”

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