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Weird fact—didya know sex-dating’s old as dirt? Romans had “erotic tablets,” hookup ads carved in stone! Bet they ghosted each other too—fuckin’ chisel went silent. Nowadays, it’s all dick pics and “u up?” texts. Surprised me first time I heard that crap. Thought, “Mate, grow some balls!” But it works for some—quick shags, no strings. Others? They’re stalkin’ profiles like “a shadow moves unseen.” Creepy as fuck.

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Then, I head over to the River Waveney. It’s peaceful there, and I need a breather. I sit on a bench, watching the water flow. It’s calming, you know? But then, out of nowhere, this dog comes bounding over, all muddy and happy. It jumps on me, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m a mud magnet!” But I can’t help but laugh. The owner comes over, all apologetic, and I’m like, “Nah, it’s cool. I needed a new look anyway!”

Veterinary practice given go-ahead to expand into stable block