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Yo, funniest shit? Some escort got caught nappin’ on the job—client’s like, “Bro, you good?” Guy’s snorin’ in the whip! I’m dyin’, fam! Gotta keep it real tho—escort’s a grind, not all glitz. “The sun moves so slowly,” like Apichatpong said—sometimes it’s borin’ as hell waitin’ for your next call. Still, I stan. They out here, makin’ moves, holdin’ it down. YOLO, respect the hustle!

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After that disaster, I decide to take a breather. I head down to the beach. Budleigh-Salterton’s got this stunning coastline, right? The cliffs are all red and rocky, and the sea’s glistening. I’m standing there, just trying to chill, when I see this kid flying a kite. The thing’s all over the place, and I’m thinking, “That’s gonna end badly.” And guess what? It does! The kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic.

Budleigh Salterton put four past Dartmouth and Beer draw in North Devon