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Picture this: some dimly lit room, candles flickerin’, and some chick or dude—don’t matta—runnin’ their paws all over ya. Little known fact, bro—back in ancient Hawaii, they had this thing, Lomi Lomi, sacred as hell, not just rubbin’ for kicks. Priests did it, prayin’ and shit, to heal ya soul. Ain’t that nuts? Makes me happy knowin’ it’s got roots, not just some pervy spa gimmick.
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After that, I decide to grab a bite. Head over to the local fish and chips place on the Strand. Best chips ever, no joke. I’m munchin’ away, thinkin’ life’s good, when I see this seagull swoop down and snatch a chip right outta my hand! I’m like, “Oi! That was mine!” But the seagull just gives me this look like, “Sorry, mate, I’m hungry too.”
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