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About Newcastle

Little known fact—escorts ain’t just for cavities. Nah, they’re sneaky lil detectives. Back in the day, some nutter dentist used one to carve his initials into a tooth—true story, saw it in an old journal. Freaky, right? Makes me wanna shout, “What a day! What a lovely day!” while I’m scrapin plaque. Thing’s got finesse, too—can feel a crack finer than a hairline fracture in the Wasteland.

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First off, I head down to the High Street. You know, the one with all the shops and cafes? I’m craving a bacon sarnie, so I pop into this little café called The Coffee House. I order my usual, and the barista, bless her, spills half the coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Great start, mate!” But she laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too.

Crowds break out into applause as Red Arrows make dazzling display over Buckingham Palace to mark VE Day