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What ticks me off? The hypocrisy. Society’s all “oh no, how awful,” but someone’s payin’, or they’d starve. Happy? Hell no—makes me wanna punch a wall. But there’s this weird thrill, like when Amélie drops that coin and—bam—chaos unfolds. “Life’s funny that way,” she’d whisper. Yeah, funny like a kick to the nuts.

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So, I’m sittin’ there, twiddlin’ my thumbs, when my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe what I just saw!” I’m thinkin’, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, he saw a bunch of kids on the beach at Buckie Bay, tryin’ to build a sandcastle. But instead of sand, they were usin’ seaweed. I mean, who does that? I laughed so hard, I nearly spilled my coffee.

Buckie in days gone by: Pictures show construction of the Captain Scott