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About Leicester

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no boring lecture, it’s real talk, like I’m spillin’ it to Kenny over some cheesy poofs. Sexual-massage? It’s hands-on, dirty, and damn good if done right. Ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s all ‘bout that sensual vibe—gets ya goin’, ya know? I saw this flick, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*, Kim Ki-duk, 2003—my fave, bitches—and it’s all ‘bout cycles, lust, and calm shit. Like, “What you hold, you lose,” that’s some deep massage truth right there! Hold too tight, you ruin the vibe.

Please Note: A transport charge of minimum RM50 applies for far locations.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park on the edge of town. It’s called Brynamman Park, real original, huh? Anyway, I’m walkin’ along, and I spot this group of kids playin’ footy. They’re kickin’ the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or somethin’. I’m feelin’ all nostalgic, ya know? I used to play back in the day.

Canolfan Carwyn Sports Centre and Brynamman Lido to be transferred to community groups