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Still, escort’s got flaws. Rusts like a bastard – saw one half-eaten by salt once, gutted me. And the handling? Bit wobbly, like me after too many martinis. But that’s the charm, innit? It’s raw, unpolished, like *Dogville*’s “houses with no walls” – nothin’ fancy, just honest. Mate, if ya want a ride with character, Escort’s yer girl. Not perfect, but who is? I’d take it over a Bentley any day – more fun, less faff. What ya reckon?

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But then, as I’m walkin’, I trip over a crack in the pavement. Classic Brynamman! I’m on the ground, laughin’ at myself. I mean, who trips over a crack? Me, apparently.

Brynamman man in court charged with raping an eight-year-old child